


It Runs in the Family

by tamalinn



Category: Smallville
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-17
Updated: 2004-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-03 04:33:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2838077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamalinn/pseuds/tamalinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>See title.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Runs in the Family

**Author's Note:**

> for Trustanti, who requested Ship/Lana  
> Spoilers: Exodus.

Clark turned around. Lana had appeared behind him smiling serenely in the ship's golden glow.

"Your thoughts are not a mystery to me, Kal-El," the ship said. "This woman has served her-- Whoa. She's hot!"

"Uh… Wha?" Clark asked the ship.

"That's your girlfriend, Kal-El? Nice work." A door at the side of the pod opened, and a metal arm slid out. "Gimme five, son. She's quite the looker." The ship rocked forward and back as though nodding its approval.

"Wait, what? Give you five?" Clark asked.

The ship ignored him and floated slowly over circling Lana's image. "Nice ass," it said before turning to look at Clark thoughtfully. "Does she put out?"

"WHAT? Look, I don't know who you think you are," Clark shouted poking the ship hard. "But you have no right to just pop up one day, say you’re my father, direct me to take over the earth and then ask if my girlfriend puts--OW!" A beam of light shot from the pod and pinned Clark to the wall.

"This symbol is a right of passage," the ship said. "It is burned into your flesh when you become a man. Congratulations, my son. You bagged quite the little hottie." The metal arm gave him the thumbs up before the light winked out and the ship resettled itself on the ground.

Clark landed on his ass on the ground with a thud. But I haven't had sex with Lana, Clark thought, rubbing his rump as he climbed to his feet. He left the cellar and pulled the door shut behind him.

Chloe had been hiding, with her eyebrows raised nearly off her head, for the entire exchange. So Clark's an alien, which explains his weirdness, she thought. And apparently his obsession with Lana is genetic. She climbed out from under the tarp, walked out of the cellar and wandered off into the night.


End file.
